The Armies of Ruin Transcript

Note: I am focusing on the dialogue, and as such will not be transcribing the battle objectives and such as they appear in the game. I'm also having a bit of fun with this don't take it too serious.

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

LINK: The legendary hero. Currently a prodiguous trainee in the Hyrulean Army.

ZELDA: Princess of Hyrule.

IMPA: General in the Hyrulean Army and personal guard of Princess Zelda.

PROXI: Fairy. Speaks for Link.

VOLGA: Dragon knight and enemy of Hyrule.

DARK WIZARD: Remarkably untrustworthy floating robe.

TRANSCRIPT BATTLE

[Scene: Impa and Link are separated from Zelda by closed keeps, obstructed by rocks.]

IMPA: Where did all these monsters come from? We can't get to Princess Zelda with those boulders in the way!

[Link appears.]

IMPA: What's this? A new recruit? Who is this soldier, anyway?

PROXI: Someone! Help! I'm too little to fight monsters!

[Proxi spots Link and flies toward him, entering his chest.]

PROXI: Thanks! I'm Proxi! And who are you? Link, huh? Unusual name! What's it mean? Where are you from? Nice sword!

PROXI: Man of few words, huh? That's okay--I'll come along and do the talking!

ZELDA: Hold your ground, everyone! We are the only ones who can protect Hyrule!

PROXI: Keep fighting, Princess! We're coming to help!

DARK WIZARD: Hiya ha ha! Keep attacking!

[Keep opens, cutscene starts. Volga makes his entrance.]

VOLGA: Get out of my way, boy.

[Impa appears, shielding Link from Volga's attack.]

VOLGA: How noble. Enjoy your shared grave.

[Volga attacks with fire. Impa braces herself. She and Link are engulved by flames. Volga sees this, smirks, and begins to turn away. The smoke clears to reveal Link shielding Impa, the Triforce symbol glowing on his hand.]

IMPA: Could you be...?

[Cutscene ends. Fight with Volga starts.]

VOLGA: If you're ready to join your ancestors, then I accept your challenge!

IMPA: Don't let the dragon knight through!

[After defeating Volga.]

VOLGA: You haven't beaten me. You've only hidden behind your shields, human and otherwise.

DARK WIZARD: Is Volga slacking off again? Fine! Send out the next unit!

[Keep opens, Link can progress. Goron forces are fighting Lizalfos.]

GORON CAPTAIN: We can't hold them anymore! Somebody, help!

[After defeating Lizalfos.]

GORON CAPTAIN: Thanks a ton! Hey, you should take the treasure in that mine as a reward!

[In the mine, Link finds a chest with bombs in it.]

IMPA: With those bombs, we can break the boulders and join up with Princess Zelda!

ZELDA: Capture the West Field Keep! This will let us reconvene with our allies. Hurry!

[Link blows up the boulders blocking his path, and Zelda takes the West Field Keep. They rendezvous.]

PROXI: Link, look! The princess!

ZELDA: You! I saw you in the training yard!

DARK WIZARD: Attack! Destroy! Massacre! Kill the royal whelp before I grow impatient!

ZELDA: Capture both the Central and East Field Keeps, and close their gates!

HYLIAN CAPTAIN: Leave the East Keep to us! Someone take the central one!

[After taking the Central Keep.]

ZELDA: Wonderful! Now take the East Field Keep!

[After taking the East Field Keep as well.]

ZELDA: We have forced the invaders into the north! Now we must call upon the Great Fairy!

ZELDA: I must put our plan in motion. Soldiers in training! Follow me to the fairy fountain!

DARK WIZARD: Move! Invade Hyrule Castle from the northern gate! They'll never expect it!

ZELDA: We must seal the northern gate to stop the dark forces from getting to the castle!

IMPA: Leave this task to me!

[Impa moves to intercept the attack forces, Link and Zelda arrive at the Fairy Fountain.]

ZELDA: Our preparations are complete. Hurry and seal off the northern gates!

[Impa defeats the advancing enemy troops.]

IMPA: The enemy has fallen! Seal off the Rockface Chekcpoint!

ZELDA: Great Fairy! Hear our plea!

IMPA: Please, Princess Zelda, you must pull back. We can manage the battle from here.

ZELDA: I understand. May the goddesses protect you!

[Zelda charges a magic circle and leaves the battlefield. Link uses the magic circle. A Great Fairy appears, takes bombs from the allied forces, and forges them into one gigantic bomb that wipes out a large number of enemy troops. Hyrulean Forces gain morale.]

HYLIAN CAPTAIN: Great! Now we can counterattack!

DARK WIZARD: Hiya ha ha! This is where it gets interesting! Unleash King Dodongo!

[King Dodongo appears at the North Square and starts advancing to the Castle Keep.]

IMPA: How did the wizard transport a creature of that size to the battlefield so quickly?!

DARK WIZARD: Yes, enjoy your time with the king... I have an appointment elsewhere!

[Dark Wizard leaves the battlefield. King Dodongo attacks the Central Keep.]

HYLIAN SOLDIER: L-let's do what we can to stop it!

[After defeating King Dodongo, the battle ends.]

IMPA: Well fought, troops. This is why we never give up.

HYLIAN SOLDIER: General Impa, terrible news! The enemy wizard has seized the castle!

IMPA: So, the beast was just a distraction... Where is Princess Zelda? Is she safe?

HYLIAN SOLDIER: We... we can't find her anywhere!

IMPA: What?! That's impossible!

END TRANSCRIPT